I Need A Nap
I am in a foul and vile mood this morning. (vowel and file mood, ha) I am sleepy and bored and sick of listening to Cheyenne and Benny Goodman. I am THIS CLOSE to playing Beastie Boys or Soufie Nun Squad and ripping into the next person who orders a chai "to wake up with", who asks for an "iced cappucino", who calls it french vanilla, or who otherwise displays an ignorance of coffeeshop etiquette and workings as vast as our national ego.
Or this one. This is killing me today. "I'd like a large coffee . . . er, grande, I mean."
Dude, I understood you the first time! Amending yourself with "coffee talk" just makes you sound like an idiot. Only pretentious sycophants would bother to correct something as insignificant as the SIZE of your swill drip coffee. I don't care what you call it! I don't care! Gah! Large, 16 ounce, GRANDE. Shut the fuck up, give me my tip, and get out of my sight.
2 Comments:
AGH!!!!
This is M. Robinson and I'm in an F-in' bad mood (a volcano of FURY) and for some reason you are the only person I want to talk to. So call me.
Hmph!
I have done exactly what you described when driving thru Starbucks.
In my defense, I said it because I was afraid the term "large" simply wouldn't be acknowledged. I wasn't trying to look coffee-smart.
After many drive-thru experiences, you get the idea that unless you use that outfit's own special term, you hit a blank wall.
"I would like a large hamburger." ("What?" says the tinny speaker.)
"Oh, I mean a Muy Grande Huevos-burger."
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